Need immediate support?
Call Lifeline: 13 11 14 or 000
You’re allowed to feel shit. The most important thing to know is that it will get better.

I've just lost someone to suicide

Sorry to hear, mate. It’s absolutely devastating to lose anyone, let alone to suicide, and we can imagine things are pretty tough.

When someone dies by suicide, research shows that at least 6 people are intimately traumatized by the death.

Losing someone to suicide can have a huge impact on your mental health. Good work for reaching out and getting yourself here.

  • Grief’s a real mixed bag, but right now you might be feeling;

  • Shock, numbness, denial

  • Guilt

  • Anger/blame

  • Loneliness/disconnection

  • Depression

  • Thoughts of suicide yourself? If so, call 000 or Lifeline on 13 11 14 right now

So, what are some things you can do?

1. Take a break

Go easy on yourself and take some time out

2. Stay connected

Accept support from your mates and family.

3. Remember the person you've lost

Talk about them, share memories, write to them, laugh about the fun, the dumb and the ridiculous times you shared.

4. Try to stay healthy

Keep maccas drive through to once a week (or at least downgrade the 24 nuggets to 12), but seriously eat well, exercise, try to sleep and really, really try fight the temptation of having a blow out. Drugs and alcohol won’t do you any favours right now.

5. Reach out

Suicide Call back service is for those who have just lost someone to suicide too - 1300 659 467 (24hr bereavement support)
Read the Survivors of Suicide Booklet

6. Support Groups

Don’t panic - these are actually really great. Sharing your experience with others who have been through similar shit will help you realise you are not alone, there are ways forward.

7. Give something back

Thank your bus driver. Do an act of compassion for someone else. There’s no better feeling than when you feel like you’ve done some good and helped someone else.

Going Through a Breakup?

There are so many variables when it comes to break-ups; Was it messy? Are you over them? Are you happier now they are off the scene?

Reachout offers some awesome tips for all of the different situations but for the majority of break-ups, ensure you follow these basic steps:

  • Give yourself time. Things generally won’t heal straight away so accept you’ll have some good days and some shit days but remember that it will get better over time.

  • Don’t rely on drugs and alcohol. We know it’s probably tempting to party hard and binge but when the high wears off, this will make you feel worse and will only do you more harm.

  • Keep your head up and stick to your routine. While you may want to call in sick to work, skip your footy training or dodge your usual commitments, you need to make sure you have a routine to bring structure back into your life.

  • Talk to your mates! It’s not a weak or lame thing to do. We are sure your mates have probably gone through something similar in their lives and wouldn’t you want to be there for them? Let them know how you’re feeling and keep them close.

Bad times and beer

Beyondblue offers some great advice on what to do when you’re using drugs/alcohol to help cope.

And we know some GP’s aren’t as good with Mental Health as others, but even if you leave thinking ‘that bloke was as useless as a wooden frying pan’ - don’t give up, make sure you try another one as this is an integral part of the process.

What good is talking going to do?

As men, we’re wired to try to fix problems on our own.Instead of calling a plumber, we use super glue to plug a leak. Instead of calling an electrician we use duct tape to fix a broken socket. Instead of calling a therapist… well, we might resort to silence, a schooner or some reckless activities. Stop treating your brain like a leaky toilet or a flickering light bulb.  We need to chat about these things. Onward you go!

Where to start when looking for help? Here are 2 great online health directory search engines that make finding help easier:

Getting help is cheaper then you think.

If you get a mental health care plan from your GP, seeing a psychologist for 10 sessions is actually quite affordable.

Check out what the mental health care plan is all about here.

  • I've been getting help but don't feel it's working.

  • Feeling down can be overwhelming. You might not believe us when we say it right now - but you will get past this.

    Let your health professional know (whether it be your GP or your psych) that you don’t feel like it’s working. They can’t help unless they know.

    Good things you can do are:

    • Note down your progress

    • Trust the process know it takes time

    • Know it usually takes a few goes beofre finding what works for you. Keep at it

    • Sometimes it can get worse before it gets better, please push through

    • Recovery is a slow process, but that doesn't mean you're not moving forward

  • Trust us, there are ways to feel better.

    We’re not talking about band-aid solutions either, we want to help you get to the bottom of your shit, sort it out and move forward.

Checking into a mental health facility

Taking some time out and getting professional help at a mental health facility can be a really great idea. There are both private & public mental health facilities available. There are two ways you can be admitted to a mental health facility, either voluntarily admitted or involuntarily admitted. This guide, from NSW Government Health explains the in’s and outs of each.

Day facilities are also available. Your best bet is to Google ones in your area, and ask your GP. Note; some of these can be a bit pricey, but private health can cover it depending on your policy.

Because of how mental health facilities have been portrayed in popular culture in the past, the idea can be a bit daunting. Read some stories from guys who have found it to be a really helpful experience.

Find out more info on your states mental health act and policies:

ACT    NSW    NT    QLD    SA
TAS    VIC    WA

I'm worried about a mate

Remember Dapper

Seen a few changes in a your mate and started to get worried?

Good mates step up and get involved. Take action!

Reach out

It can be tough but you need to find a time where you can chat to your mate in private and ask him how things are going. He could just be thinking about why Rose didn’t let Jack on the door at the end of Titanic, but what if it’s something more serious?

You might think having a schooner is the easiest way to chat to your mate -  before you head straight to the pub, keep in mind the negative impact alcohol can have on mental health.

Studies show these convos are easier for men to have in side to side non-confrontational activities. Try going for a drive with them, a walk, a surf or playing a game of golf.

Remember DAPPER

  • Don't Judge or shame

    Your mate needs to be comfortable opening up to you. And you could be the first person he has told.

  • Assess and Assist

    Assess the situation and remind your friend that you will help get them through this.

  • Put it out there

    Ask the question. Be direct. See if they are ok and ask if they have had suicidal thoughts.

  • Point in the right direction

    Make sure they seek professional help. Offer to go with them.

  • Encourage

    Normalise what they are experiencing and reassure them it is not uncommon.

  • Revisit

    Check in with how they are going. If they weren’t ready to talk, let them know you’re ready when they are.

I'm feeling OK, but things could be better.

Work’s shit, relationships can be rocky, you’re injured, dropped from your sport team or you’re just feeling rougher than a lizards tongue.  It’s time to focus on yourself.

Here's a few tips to get you back on the horse

  • It’s as cliché as giving full credit to the boys after a big win on the footy field but it’s so important to eat well, exercise and sleep.

  • Can’t sleep? Check out these apps.

  • Try meditation. It’s mental hygiene. (We love the Headspace app. It’s no bullshit meditating - with sessions as little as 3 minutes)

  • Surround yourself with good people.

  • Try new things...Starting some new hobbies can be the be the easiest way to reinvigorate the mind, meet some new people and freshen up your perspective.

  • Volunteer to walk the very good boys at your local dog shelter
  • Surf? Or love the beach? Check out Onewave.
  • Yoga - there’s a reason yogi’s are so chill.
  • Social sports team - dodge balls not emotions
  • Find a legal graffiti wall and spray it if you can’t say it
  • Start or join a book club
  • Chat to the guy/girl you bump into every week at the dog park
  • Learn an instrument and head to venues full of musos!
  • Join a cycling group
  • MeetUp has heaps of cool events to meet new people. Think of Tinder, without the funny business…. Actually, who knows… I’m sure there’s some funny business

Positive psychology tips

What is positive psychology?


Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life worth living.

Throughout history, most of psychology has been concerned with asking the question ‘what’s wrong with you’.

The goal of positive psychology is to make your everyday more fulfilling and focuses on ‘what’s right with you’.

It’s aimed to compliment, not replace traditional psychology.

It explores that strength is just as important as weakness and it’s just as important to build on the best things in life, as to repair the worst.

Sound interesting?

Here’s some you can start off with;

  • Accept life can be tough and hurt sometimes, but it’s your attitude and resilience that can help shape how you navigate through.

  • Write down each day what you’re grateful for. If we get stuck on negative events it’s easy to lose perspective. Writing down good things helps you to focus on the positive things in your life.

  • Practice optimism as an attitude. When you master ‘optimism’ you understand good things are coming and that the bad things do pass.

  • Count kindness gestures.

  • Record three funny things that happen each day.

  • “Gift” your time - offer the gift of your time to three mates or someone in need each week. This might be in the form of time spent helping a mate move house or sharing a meal with someone who seems lonely.

  • Make a special effort to thank a mate who’s been there for you.

You're not alone

Here are some stories from Mighty Minds who have learned to live with, manage and now share their stories of how they have lived with mental ill-health. If you’re keen to share your story, get in touch!

"Being open with how certain situations make you feel and being able to express that in a comfortable environment is critical to becoming self aware"

Jaxon

Jaxon

Perth

"I'm a massive believer that men need each other. I can't wait to see more men talking about the inner struggle, about wellness."

Billy

Billy

Sydney

“I’m constantly on the go and my time I spend meditating is the time when I can sit, feel my heart rate slow and generally calm down and reflect on how I’m feeling. “

Dave

Dave

Sydney

“For me, the first step is admitting anxiety is there. By acknowledging it I'm able to diminish the threat of it and its power over me.”

Eddy

Eddy

Sydney

“For me, I place a strong focus on regular exercise, eating well and learning Spanish. This is my meditation, my flow state.”

Adrian

Adrian

Sydney

"Being open with how certain situations make you feel and being able to express that in a comfortable environment is critical to becoming self aware"

Jaxon

Jaxon

Perth

"I'm a massive believer that men need each other. I can't wait to see more men talking about the inner struggle, about wellness."

Billy

Billy

Sydney

“I’m constantly on the go and my time I spend meditating is the time when I can sit, feel my heart rate slow and generally calm down and reflect on how I’m feeling. “

Dave

Dave

Sydney

About Might and Mane

Our goal

Too many young Aussie men are suffering in silence.

While there are some fantastic initiatives and programs, mental health is more important than just a one day a year, or one month a year campaign.

Might & Mane promotes positive mental health habits and gets men checking in on their mental health as often as they get their hair cut.

The great thing is, when we train a barber, they’re trained in safe conversation for life.

A barber sees roughly 16 clients a day, five days a week. Therefore, for every 20 barbers trained, we’ll reach around 8,000 Australian men. If they get their haircut 10 times a year - that’s 80,000 opportunities for empowered conversations.

Our dream is that every suburb and town has, if not every barbershop is, a trained and certified safes pace for men to discuss mental health and access services

Contact us

If you’d like to get in contact with us and/or you’re a barber and keen to join the Might & Mane community, please send us an email at:

Find a barber

Want to get a haircut from a Might & Mane affiliated barber?

Check if there’s one near you!

Disclaimer

What we don't do

Might & Mane is not the place for detailed information and advice.  There are plenty of organisations that can give you guidance — and we’ll point you to some of the best.

We don’t list individual GPs, psychologists, or other mental health professionals. We focus on digital services and resources. If you need to talk to a health professional in person for specific advice and assistance, use the healthdirect service finder to find professionals near you.